Fear grows when we give it attention and energy. As a therapist, I see many clients inadvertently strengthening their fears through habitual patterns. Let’s explore how we might be nurturing our fears without realizing it, and how we can disrupt this cycle instead.
How We Feed Our Fears
Rumination: Fixating on worst-case scenarios essentially rehearses disaster, strengthening neural pathways associated with fear.
Avoidance: Steering clear of feared situations provides temporary relief but reinforces the belief that these situations are truly threatening.
Excessive reassurance seeking: Constantly asking for confirmation that everything will be okay keeps us dependent on external validation.
Doom scrolling: Consuming endless negative content creates a distorted view that the world is primarily dangerous.
How to Talk Back to Your Fears
Practice mindful awareness: Observe anxious thoughts without judgment. Notice: “I’m having anxious thoughts” rather than “I am anxious.”
Challenge catastrophic thinking: Ask yourself about the actual likelihood of your fears happening and your ability to cope if they did.
Take gradual exposure steps: Approach feared situations in manageable doses, collecting evidence that contradicts fear-based assumptions.
Limit information intake: Be intentional about media consumption, especially before bedtime.
Redirect attention: When fear demands focus, consciously shift to something constructive or meaningful.
Build uncertainty tolerance: Practice sitting with the discomfort of not knowing with the understanding that perfect certainty rarely exists.
Acknowledge brave choices: Recognize each time you face a fear, reinforcing the neural pathways associated with courage.
Remember, the goal isn’t eliminating fear—it serves protective functions. Our aim is developing a healthier relationship with fear, so it no longer controls our choices. By recognizing how we feed our fears and consciously choosing different responses, we gradually reclaim our power over anxiety.
What fear might you begin to release your grip on today?
